Wednesday, September 13, 2017

It's OK to be GAY | Video and Supplementary Text

Hello and welcome to the Design Life Blog! It's been a minute since I last posted and I guess it was because Hanco and I have been focused on video content in the last couple of weeks. I decided to write this blog, however, as an extension of the Design Life video that was posted today.


My videos are very conversational and therefore tend to get quite long! I realize that some people prefer to read a summarized text, rather than listen to me chat for X amount of time. This blog is for those who are interested in the topics that stemmed from my video, but would prefer to read about them.

A Little Background

Hanco and I posted a video to our main channel in which I gave him a drag makeover. We decided to record and post this video for the following reasons:

1. There was a challenge going around on YouTube in which many female YouTubers did a makeup look for their respective boyfriends. We thought their videos were hilarious and wanted to try it out too.

2. Many of our viewers had asked us to do this challenge.

3. We wanted to poke fun at stereotypical gender roles, which we believe is nothing but a social construct.

You see, there is so much hate crime going on in the world. Boys are being bullied, physically and emotionally, for wanting to wear a piece of material that is not cut and put together in a way that is "normal" to some parts of society. But it's fine for Scottish boys to wear kilts, right? In some parts of the world, girls are raised to believe that their only purpose is to bear children for her husband. This belief used to be apparent in many more parts of the world, but beliefs have changed and now women find themselves in high-ranking, high-paying positions, too. Still, it isn't the norm (yet).

Transgender people are being murdered for wanting to change a part of their body that makes them feel uncomfortable, and yet a trophy wife gets to alter more than just one part of her body, without anyone questioning her validity as a human being. Breast implants, a nose job, botox, a forehead lift, liposuction, laser hair removal, permanent makeup, brachioplasty and the list goes on! Believe me, I have no prejudice against any woman who chooses to get plastic surgery as much as she wants! I am merely trying to point out the double standards that some people have. Sure, they can argue that women who do all those things are bot changing their gender, but what is gender really other than a social construct? Who decided the sky was to be called blue? Who decided that cows were allowed to be eaten but not dogs? Who decided that you can surgically change your entire body as long as you still conform to the gender you were born into?

These occurrences, in our eyes, are absolutely ridiculous and there are so many "grey areas". In most cases, people don't even realise that they have drastic double standards when it comes to what people are allowed to and not allowed to do. And we're wondering, who on earth has the right to cast judgement onto another person and dictate who they are allowed to love, what they are allowed to wear and which gender they identify with. If it doesn't affect *you*, be quiet and go about your own life.

Saying that another person can't wear something that YOU are uncomfortable with, is like saying nobody is allowed to eat donuts, because YOU are on a diet. Really, queen?

People have used art, in the form of movies, series, paintings, blogs, books, dance and so much more, to question society's standards, rules and beliefs. It's very dangerous to accept, blindly, the rules and especially the beliefs of others, without judging for yourself whether it serves everyone equally, or only a specific group of people. This is (partly) why we love making videos reacting to drag and also why we didn't just make a makeover video, but a DRAG makeover video, because it raises awareness for something so inspiring and promotes it. The more people who do so, the more it will become part of everyone's norm. 

Drag Queens push boundaries and break stereotypes. They inspire body positivity and rising above the odds. Just as any culture took root and developed over time, Drag is a culture that has a beautiful, yet raw, history (you can watch Paris is Burning on Netflix to gain some understanding thereof). It's about expressing yourself, getting in touch with yourself and embarking on a journey to become more of who you were born to be! As opposed to how society tries to mould us into what it would like us to be.

"If you wanna join the revolution
Innovate, that's my solution
Wear a crown, fuck with gender
Bend the rules, don't surrender
A thinking queen speaks to the heart
She's stranger than fiction, better than art."
- Sasha Velour, Category Is

Just because someone is in a position of power, chooses to make rules and manipulate people into thinking those rules are "righteous" (e.g. Hitler), does not mean that their beliefs or way of doing things are right. Asking questions is important, not because we want to "rebel" for the sake of rebelling, but because things should not be accepted as "right" or "wrong", even if the majority of people believe it! At one point, most people believed the earth was flat. Anyone who believed differently was thought to be crazy. And yet, what do we believe about the earth today?

So when Hanco was scolded for doing the drag makeover video with me, since he was wearing makeup in the video, I immediately felt angry. Not (specifically) at those who looked down on him for "dishonouring his family name" and for "doing something gay", rather I felt angry at that ridiculous mentality.

First of all, Hanco and most guys in school have cross-dressed before as initiation (obviously meant to make them feel silly, but also because it's what builds a team, because doing it together is fun and builds character). So why was doing a makeup challenge any different?

I asked the person who confronted Hanco and his response was to try to tear down my confidence by calling me a dumbass, and justifying their reason for cross-dressing. Isn't that convenient? He is allowed to justify his way out of why it is "wrong" to cross-dress, but he would not accept our justification for doing a makeup challenge.



I could go on and on about how the rest of this conversation went, but let's just leave it at that.
Secondly, as far as "disgracing a family name" goes, let's dissect that claim a little more. Hanco and I are Afrikaans and we are white-skinned. The legacy our South-African forefathers left for us (that we apparently are expected to be proud of and live up to) is a legacy that essentially believe women belong in the kitchen and oh, they implemented a little something called Apartheid. Didn't our forefathers disgrace themselves by implementing such a ridiculous ideology?

Apartheid made laws that forced different racial groups to live separately and develop separately, and unequally. It tried to stop all inter-marriage and social integration between racial groups. More than this, apartheid was a social system which severely disadvantaged the majority of the population, simply because they did not share the skin colour of the rulers. Many were kept just above destitution because they were 'non-white'.

Does that sound familiar? Prejudice against a group of people based on their race, their gender, their gender identity or their sexuality is wrong. If you believe otherwise, please feel free to comment and I would like to hear your explanation. However, take into account that you cannot base your argument on religion, as religion is not factual - there are more than 2000 different Gods that people believe in. So you can't claim your "rightness" based on what your holy book says.

Of course, I didn't write this blog post to claim that I am free of all mistakes. I myself am learning and growing, which is why I create videos and write - to open discussion, learn from others and grow together. Truthfully, laws are arbitrary. 

We come to a consensus on them to create order and progress as a community. With the rise of the internet, we are not seperate communities anymore and cannot remain ignorant of the fact that in other countries there are laws different than ours. Who is right? Who is wrong? Is there really an ultimate right and wrong at all, or just what works best at that time and that place?

I want to leave you with the following quote and I hope that you grasp its meaning within this narrative.

"ADAPT or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative."
- H G Wells

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Haters Back Off! | Why I Love RuPaul's Drag Race | Kayla Rants

Hi everyone! Kayla here. Now, I know when you put yourself on the internet, you're going to receive a lot of love from people who resonate with who you are and you're going to receive a lot of hate from people who don't.


I have no problem with people trolling me in the comment section of our videos on the vlog channel, because I know that someone else's hate has nothing to do with me, even when it is directed toward me. It's actually about what's going on within themselves. As tweeted by Najwa Zebian, "Never wish them pain. That's not who you are. If they cause you pain, they must have pain inside. Wish them healing. That's what they need."

So negativity towards me does not bother me, BUT… Judgement, in general, bothers me a lot. As well as people who are hypocritical. I want to point out one specific comment, but I've gotten a few of them before:


Screen Shot 2017-08-13 at 9.18.59 PM.png



First of all, I want to say that one of the reasons why I love RuPaul's Drag Race so much is because yes, the queens are FIERCE and I love the lip syncs because they are entertaining, exciting and emotional (all at the same time!), but since I've started watching actual episodes of the series, I have seen how the queens have brought a lot of social issues to light. Issues that affect all people. Eating disorders has been discussed in some of the episodes in season 9, survivor's guilt has been touched on, as well as the acceptance, self-love and judgement that all people in the LGBT+ community have to face every day.

Therefore, I find it strange that some people in the LGBT+ community (of course not all!) are doing to others which the community as a whole has fought so hard to overcome. Here is another comment to illustrate my point:

If you're not sure what "cishet people" are, read the following from queerdictionary.blogspot.com:
"Cishet, used as both an adjective and a noun, describes a person who is both cisgender and heterosexual. A person is cishet if he or she is cisgender, meaning identifying with his or her assigned-at-birth gender, as well as heterosexual, or attracted exclusively to people of the opposite sex."
So... "Stop cishet people watching RuPaul's Drag Race", basically means, "People who identify with their assigned-at-birth gender and who loves someone of the opposite sex IS NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH RPDR". Are you for real? Imagine two gay dad's who have adopted a girl, who is "cishet", tell their daughter that she's not allowed to watch RPDR with them, because she identifies herself as the gender she was born with and because she likes boys.

"Sorry hun, but unless you start liking girls, you're not allowed to sit with us." That is the exact same thing as telling a boy he can't wear make-up, because he was born as a boy and not a girl. And it is the exact same thing as telling a girl she can't love another girl, because she is "supposed to" love boys. You fucking hypocrite. That is not very nice, now is it?

Telling ANYONE that they can or cannot do, have or wear something, based on what gender they were BORN AS or WHO THE F they love (or don't love), is wrong. Let me let y'all in on a little secret... Whether you are straight, gay, lesbian, bi, asexual, pansexual, transexual, polysexual, asexual, male, female, genderfluid, agender, African, American, Asian, Caucasian,15, 35 or 100 years old you are allowed to watch RuPaul's Drag Race. In fact, you are allowed to watch whatever you feel comfortable watching. You are allowed to wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing. You are allowed to love whoever you want to love.

I fell in love with RuPaul's Drag Race, because I was never as aware of the hate that so many people have to go through, just because they are judged for who they love or what gender they identify with. In fact, for four years I lived in a student town, and I saw guys together, girls together, people of different races together. I saw girls dressed in boy clothes with short hair and boys dressed in girls clothes with long hair. In my mind it was natural and none of this even phase anyone (that I was aware of). I never realized that in so many parts of the world, there is so much HATE towards these people. So watching Drag made me feel like I had to be more open about my sexuality to show people that it's okay to love whoever you want and that you shouldn't allow anyone to make you feel wrong for loving a certain gender or whatever.

I've said multiple times in previous videos that I'm pansexual and I don't allow others to tell me what's wrong or right about who I am - I love myself and I allow myself to express my honest feelings. Which is why the comment from "Sophia Von Heaux" initially made me feel angry and judged, because based on ONE video that she probably didn't even watch all the way through, she called me straight (as if that's something to be ashamed of?) and gross. On other videos I've had comments like "straight people are so weird" and stuff like that and I just don't get it. What is it about people that makes them think it's okay to judge anyone?


People judging and hating on the LGBT+ community is WRONG.
But if someone in the LGBT+ community judges a straight person, that's not right either! Now that you know I'm actually part of the LGBT+ community, am I now allowed to react to LGBT+ performances? Why does that have to make a difference? Another reason why I fell in love with RPDR is because I feel it's so inclusive. There was love for others no matter what kind of drag they do, whether they are trans or not, whether they are gay or not. The queens on the show expressed acceptance and love (lots of drama in between, of course, but that's because it's a competition, not because they felt someone was morally wrong for being a certain way).

Personally, I don't believe Sophia Von Heaux represent the LGBT+ community, because to me, the LGBT+ community believes that love has no limits and is all-inclusive. Sophia Von Heaux seems to think like it's some exclusive club that you have to be "allowed" into. Any person that supports and celebrates love and self-expression (e.g. Drag) contributes to a more inclusive, loving and accepting world. So why am I being told that I am not allowed to react to or watch RuPaul's Drag Race? Smh.

Most comments from you all have been positive and inclusive and you've been suggesting tons of other lip syncs for us to watch and I'm so grateful for all of you. Thank you for being such a beautiful example of what all human beings should be like - loving and accepting of someone else and what they do - regardless of their sexuality, their gender, their race or their religion. We should strive to be kind, and tolerant, and loving.



RuPaul himself tweeted and said:




Racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia etc. are essentially based on the judgment that your race, or your gender is better than someone else's, or your way of living is right and their way of living is wrong. This is wrong-thinking. But it's also wrong for a homosexual person to judge someone who is straight. I'm pansexual, I can't go around telling other girls that if they are just attracted to boys that they are weird and I'm the normal one - regardless of which side the judgement is coming from, it's wrong. I know it seems like I'm making a big deal about two or three comments, but I see this all over the internet and I think it should stop.


To me, Drag, and the LGBT+ community is about loving and accepting yourself and others for whoever they want to be and celebrating our differences and our similarities and it's about a whole lot of fucking LOVE. Love is the ultimate and that's the message I strive to express through all my videos, blogs and the way I live my life. Sure we're going to make mistakes, we're going to have bad days and lash out at random people for no good reason when we bottle up emotions etc. But at our core we all need to acknowledge and accept that no person is better than another. We are all equal and we all deserve happiness and love.


I would like to end this with another quote from RuPaul:

“The overall commentary on what I’m doing is saying, "Hey look! I get to create whatever persona I want to, and it’s all up to me. And the truth is, we are all basically the universe—pretending to be humans for a brief moment of time."

Monday, July 10, 2017

How To Set Achievable Goals | Begin With The End In Mind | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the Design Life blog, where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of magic.

'Begin with the end in mind' is a phrase that was made popular through Stephen R. Covey's book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I applied this phrase to my life once I could see, clearly in my mind, exactly what I wanted my life to look like. I told myself, if I can begin with the end (my vision) in mind, I will have a clear direction to guide my daily activities. What you choose to do every day, is creating your future. So if you know where you want to go, and you adjust your daily activities according to that, it is inevitable that you will eventually reach your desired destination. It is through this process that I feel like I have been able to take control of my life. I may not be able to control the wind, but with a clear destination, I can always adjust my sails, so that I am always moving towards where I want to be.

All things are created twice. When you begin with the end in mind, you are letting your inner vision guide you from your vision to it's physical manifestation. As Stephen Covey puts it, "The exercise of imagination is based on the principle that all things are created twice: first mentally and then the actual physical creation, with the physical following the mental in the same way a building follows a blueprint. By taking control of our own first creation, we can write or re-write our own scripts, thus taking some control and responsibility for the outcome." Taking control of your own first creation, means clarifying your vision, keeping it in mind and using it to guide your actions every day. If you do this, it's eventual manifestation is inevitable.

Let's say you are living in a small town and you want to go on a road trip with your friends to a big city, and there are lots of experiences you would like to have on the way. The best way to approach this journey is to choose an end destination and put it into your GPS. Even if you go off-course, your GPS will just recalculate and will always direct you towards your desired destination, regardless of how many places you stop to see along the way. You can plan, ahead of time, where the best places would be to sleep and stop for gas, which restaurants you'd want to try out along the way and whether you want to take longer or shorter routes (depending on whether you want to get there faster or do something on a specific route that you wouldn't be able to do otherwise).

In the same way, when you have a clear vision of what you want your life to be like (when you begin with the end in mind), it is much easier to plan how you will get there.

How To Set Goals




Once you have a clear vision in your mind, you are ready to start setting goals that will act as stepping stones to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

1. Begin with the end in mind: Set your long-term goals first. Be specific about what you want to do and by when you want to do it. Examples:

- I want to self-publish a book and sell 100 000 copies in 3 years.
- I want to start a Beauty Channel on YouTube and have one million subscribers in 5 years.
- I want to get my Bachelor's degree in English and go to Thailand to teach in 4 years.

Be sure to include things like how many (books you want to sell for example) and by when. You could even write an exact date! Then you are going to work backwards from there.

2. Set medium-term goals next. Ask yourself, what big steps will you need to take to achieve your long-term goal. Here are some examples of medium-term goals based on one of the long-term goals above:

- I am going to write my book and self-publish it within one year.
- I am going to create my own website as a means to represent myself and the book, and I will launch it two months before I publish the book.
- I am going to invest X amount every month, once the book is published, to advertise it so the people who would love to read it, can find it.

3. Set short-term goals last. Examples:

- I will create my own website within the next 6 months.
- I will plan the content of my book and begin writing in the next two weeks (you could even set out how many pages you need to write every week to be able to finish within a year).
- In six months I'll be done with more than half of my book. Even if it's just one page more.
- I will research the best ways to self-publish my book and decide which method I am going to use within three months.
- I will save X amount every month that will go towards the publishing of my book.

Important Things To Take Note Of


Nothing is set in stone. Maybe you finish your book three months early, maybe one month you aren't able to put some money away. Maybe setting up a website was more difficult than you thought. That's okay! Remain flexible. Change up your short-term and medium-term goals, but never change your destination. Remember, if your GPS is set to California, it doesn't matter how many wrong turns you make, or which way the wind is blowing, adjust your sails and KEEP MOVING FORWARD.



I know this blog is getting really long, but if you're serious  about setting and achieving your goals, keep on  reading. Another valuable tool to include in your goal-setting strategy is a daily to-do list. This is a list of  small, easy to do, action steps that will help you achieve you short-term goals. Keep this list with you at all times and make sure it has four or five things on it that you are able to do every day.

Example Of A Daily To-Do List

1. Take ten minutes to plan what I want to accomplish tomorrow to feel like it was a productive day (do in the evening)
2. Do 20 minutes of research about how to design my own website
3. Do 20 minutes of research about how to self-publish a book
4. Tell at least one person about the book I am publishing on (,insert exact date)
5. Read at least 3 pages of self-help/personal development book

These can be things to motivate you or move you closer to your short-term goals. As long as they are easy to do every day. Once short term goals are accomplished, these might develop and change.
The most important thing to remember in this whole adventure is just get started from wherever you are, with whatever you have and DON'T GIVE UP!

Monday, July 3, 2017

Journaling to Change Your Life | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the Design Life blog, where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of magic.

In my last blog, I wrote about Inspiration and how to discover (or I should rather say, remember) your life purpose. Read it by clicking here: How to Find Your Inspiration. At the end of the post I shared what I believe to be the most important key to understanding yourself and, by extension, remembering what you were put on this earth to do (and how). 

The answer is Journaling. I specifically mentioned journaling in the post about inspiration, because journaling is such a powerful tool for self-discovery. When you take the time to journal regularly, you are intentionally tuning into your inner voice - something we intuitively know how to do as kids. As we grow up, however, it seems that the loud voices of the external world drown out the soft, reassuring voice within. 

 Journaling will take you deeper within yourself and you will see your life from a higher perspective. I believe this is one of the key reasons why I feel so happy with myself and my life and how I have been able to give my life meaning, which was far more successful than what I was doing before (searching outside myself for meaning and approval). Journaling helps me to breathe deeper by expressing my true thoughts and feelings, which leaves my mind free from stress and mental clutter so I can see clearly what I need to do, when I need to do it. 

But journaling can change your life in more ways than by getting to know yourself and finding your inspiration and bliss. Maybe you feel like you don't need to do that. There are other great reasons to keep a journal and write for at least a few minutes every day. 


Why You Should Start Journaling

Journaling evokes mindfulness. Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing your awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. Mindfulness is connected to happiness. When you journal, even for just a few minutes a day, it offers you the opportunity to be present in a peaceful moment, frustrations and anxieties dissolve when you learn how to focus your attention on the now

Journaling reduces stress. When you write about people or events that have made you feel angry or hurt (or other negative emotions), it offers a release from the heaviness of those feelings. I feel that writing about negative feelings offers more healing than talking about it with others. When I complain to someone about a negative person or event in my life, it seems to fuel my anger or sadness. Whereas when I write about what happened, how it made me feel and how I rather want to feel, it discharges the negative emotions within me. 

Journaling increases self-mastery and trust. When you commit to journaling for 15 minutes a day, every day, it's an act of discipline. When you make a promise to yourself, and you keep it, it strengthens your sense of self-control and even self-trust. 10 or 15 minutes a day is not a difficult promise to keep and the more you do it the stronger you get! Pretty soon, you will be able to exercise that self-control in other areas of your life too, such as going for a run twice a week and saying no to that second slice of cake you don't really want.

Journaling will help you see how you're growing. Personal growth is very important. One of my favorite sayings is, "If you're not growing, you're dying" (it has been quoted by too many people to honestly tell you its original source, nonetheless, it rings true!). We are human beings, it's natural for us to want to develop our skills and grow through life's challenges. We want to move forward and feel like we're making progress. Too often than we should (which is never), we compare our progress to those around us. Trust me, you are not giving yourself enough credit for what you have accomplished, and ironically, that holds you back from accomplishing more. Journaling allows you to see how you've changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you could do it better next time.


How to Start Journaling

Get a special notebook and pen that you will only use for journaling. Keep it next to your bed or in a place that is quiet, where you can sit and write for 15 - 20 minutes every night before going to sleep. In fact, if you want to make it really easy, download a journaling app on your phone (I use ) or create a word document on your laptop, titled Journal. 

Write the time and date every time you start journaling. Take a few deep breaths before you start writing - nothing specific, just to open up your thoughts and settle into the moment. Write about things like how you were feeling today, why you think you were feeling that way, how you reacted to situations, how you would have wanted to react and mention at least one or two good things about the day that you are grateful for. 

If it feels awkward at first to just start writing about your day, here a a few journaling prompts that you can use for the first few days: 

  • Write about a memory you have from when you were younger than ten years old, or a memory from your teenage years. 
  • Write about something that other people may not know about you. Why don't people know this and how do you think things would be different if they did? Is there someone specific you want to know this about you? 
  • Write about your perfect day - the happiest day you can imagine. Where would you wake up and what would you do?
  • Write about 10 things you really love doing. 
  • Write about something someone did recently that really made you angry. Why do you think it made you angry and what did you learn? 
  • Write about someone you admire.
  • Write about 3 things you really like about yourself. 
  • Make a list of a few of your favorite songs and what kind of memories these songs bring up in your mind. 
  • Write a letter to your 18-year-old self. 

You can even set a timer for 15 minutes (or however long you want to write for) and just free-write until the timer goes off. Free-write means to just write everything that pops in your mind as it comes up while you are writing and not stop to think or wonder or edit your writing at all. If you do this, I would suggest reading what you have written afterwards and taking a few extra minutes just to think about what you wrote and how you feel after writing it out. 

As Margarita Tartakovsky wrote, "Write when you first wake up. Write as you’re getting ready for bed. Write as you’re sipping tea or listening to music. Write in a coffee shop. Write as you’re sitting in the park, breathing in the cool air. Write whenever, wherever, however you like." 

Share your thoughts in the comment section below, I look forward to hearing from you! And don't forget to subscribe to the Design Life Youtube channel for more about Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of magic. 😊




Monday, June 19, 2017

How To Find Your Inspiration | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the Design Life blog, where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of magic.

In last week's blog post, we looked at the very important difference between motivation and inspiration (read it here). Finding your inspiration, living in spirit, is the reason why you are here and it's necessary, not only for your own peace and happiness, but for a peaceful and happy world. Could you imagine living a life that feels good to YOU? Imagine being excited to wake up every morning to take on a new day, do things you are passionate about and make money while doing it! 

Often people think following your dreams, doing what inspires you and makes you happy comes at a cost - literally. Everyone is acquainted with the term 'struggling artist'. Often the term is synonymous with someone who does what makes them happy instead of following the status quo and getting "a real degree" or "a real job" and usually suffers financially because of it. Ugh! That is a really horrible generalization that is absolute BS. I know rich artists and poor artists, happy musicians and depressed musicians, miserable scientists and joyful scientists and doctors who are wealthy and doctors who are not

Your job does not necessarily determine your level of happiness or how much money you make. YOU DO. Also, what inspires you and doing what you love does not necessarily mean you want to become an artist. I know a girl whose parents were both restaurant owners (her dad owned the restaurant and was passionate about business, her mother was a fantastic chef). They wanted more than anything for her to be interested in cooking or business, so that she could become part of the family business. But she wanted to become a nurse - she felt called to take care of people and learn more about the world of medicine and health. 

The problem comes in when we dictate our lives based on what society (or our parents or our friends) thinks we should (or could) be, do or have. You need to find your true inspiration and your life purpose, they will always be interlinked. You can discover your life purpose, in less than 5 minutes, by watching the video below: 


Your soul yearns to fulfill your purpose. Your purpose is not necessarily about accumulating more knowledge or material objects (although that could be part of your purpose, too). And you're definitely not going to fulfill it by comparing your life, or being obsessed with winning or achieving or "getting". It's not even really about chasing happiness (although I do believe living authentically will automatically make you feel inner peace and natural joy). Your purpose is about creating, expanding, GROWING. The thing you yearn for, more than anything else is freedom to develop your natural talents and skills and welcome the infiniteness. Your passions, your joys, you are infinite. 

There is a part of you that knows of your greatness - you are special. You have a special kind of genius to share with the world, gifts and talents, thoughts and theories, feelings and creations that nobody can put into the universe except you

It's easy to find your inspiration, as you saw in the video, because it's already in you.  You already know. But knowing something is different than believing in it. So the question that remains is not how do you find your inspiration, but how do you believe in it? It's one thing to know you are passionate about something, but how do you make a living from doing what you love? 

Ah, such is life. One question perpetuates a hundred more. The key is to not get overwhelmed - just take it step by step. You know what you want to do. Now do it. Dream up the bigger picture, keep it in your mind, then ask yourself, what can I do today, tomorrow and this week that will get me even an inch closer to that. Ask yourself that and be open to your inner voice, that inner knowing... Your inspiration will lead you if you give it the opportunity to do so. 

Below are 5 things you could do to connect with that inner spark. Use that time to ask yourself the key question - "What can I do today, tomorrow and this week that will get me even an inch closer to living my purpose?"  

1. Meditate, do yoga or even just do deep breathing exercises. 
2. Watch a TED video to learn about inspiring ideas and hear inspiring stories. 
3. Teach someone to do something and tap into your potential as a leader.
4. Create a vision board with pictures that symbolizes your ideal life. 
5. Ask your parents to tell you what you were like as a child, and remember what mattered to you then. In fact, just spend more time with children and learn to see the world through their eyes. 

One last secret that I would like to share with you, because it has created miracles for me in the past... Journaling. Just start journaling. You will learn so much about yourself and it will really change your life! Hmm... I think I know what next week's blog is going to be about 😊

Thank you for being here! Please feel free to ask questions or share your thoughts in the comment section below. 


Monday, June 12, 2017

Inspiration VS Motivation | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the Design Life blog, where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of magic.

The words 'inspiration' and 'motivation' are often used interchangeably, as if they mean the same thing. Certainly, when looking at their definitions, the meanings seem fairly similar: 

Inspiration (noun)1. the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
2. a sudden brilliant or timely idea.

 

Motivation (noun)1. a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way.
2. a set of facts and arguments used in support of a proposal.


There's a major difference between inspiration and motivation, and not only is it big, it's important to understand. Your happiness depends on your understanding of the difference between being inspired and being motivated. Does that seem like an overly-dramatic claim to make? I can assure you, it's not. 

Motivation is like the stick you use to get a donkey to move. It can be used to beat the donkey so that it has to move forward or you can attach a carrot to it with a string, hold it in front of the donkey, far enough so he can't reach, and hopefully he's hungry enough to walk. Once the donkey gets to where it needs to be, he can finally (probably) eat the carrot (or stop being beaten - kind of like how we beat ourselves up, right?). 

Inspiration, however, comes from within. When you feel inspired, you don't need external motivation or instant gratification to get you moving. You know you are inspired, when: 

  • You don't dread getting up in the morning, you look forward to the day. 
  • You feel excited to get started with something as soon as possible. 
  • You feel good about taking action. 
  • While you're doing something, energy seems to flow naturally through you. 
  • You are doing it for you, regardless of what others think. 
You need motivation, when: 
  • You say or feel like you "have to" do something. 
  • You need to set six alarms just to wake up in the morning. 
  • You're doing it for someone else, or someone else's approval. 
  • You feel physically and emotionally drained after (or even while you are) doing something. 
  • Throughout most of your day you feel hopeless, frustrated or unhappy. 

Why is it so important to know the difference? Because it's not just "nice" to be inspired, it's necessary

Too many people experience life as a challenge and begins each day as if prepared for battle. Too often, we are stressed and tense and turn to external motivators as a means to distract ourselves, at least temporarily, from experiencing the inner anxiety that haunts us. From the moment we enter first grade, sometimes even before that, we are measured against each other. We are taught to strive for society's abstract ideals and our true passion, talent and inspiration is suppressed somewhere to the back of our mind, or heart. 

No wonder so many kids grow up to be adults who suffer from depression, chronic anxiety and anger issues. No wonder there is so much underlying fear, resentment and hate throughout the world.

Tuning in to your inspiration will bring about, in time, an unwavering sense of purpose, which is necessary for a happy life and a healthy mind. There will be times, especially in the beginning, where you will feel some apprehension (and even fear) when you start to actively follow your inspirations, as opposed to allowing external factors to motivate your behavior. This is because you will be opposing a lifetime of conditioning of not listening to your inner voice. But sooner than you think, your initial self-doubt will turn into excitement and a sense of adventure, once your inner voice becomes your guiding light, rather than the many voices of the outside world. 

 When you feel inspired, not only will you feel uplifted, but you will also uplift everyone you come into contact with. Imagine a world where everyone felt that sense of purpose and inner-joy. Choosing otherwise will keep you at war with your own fears and battling others. 

Rediscovering your inspiration and allowing yourself to pursue a genuine love for yourself and your life, is not a luxury awarded only to a select few. It's the reason why you are here and it's necessary, not only for your own peace and happiness, but for a peaceful and happy world. 

In a following blog post, we'll look at how to ignite a sense of inspiration (hint: it's linked to your life purpose). Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below! 








Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Who is God? | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the Design Life blog, where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of magic.

The purpose of asking the question, "Who is God?" is not so much about defining God as it is about your relationship with and deepening your understanding of God, The Divine, The Universe, Infinite Intelligence etcetera. I believe asking "Who is God?" should be as natural to us as asking "Who am I?"

Everybody has some kind of relationship with some kind of higher power and therefore God often comes up in my line of work. It's necessary for our growth as individuals and as a race (the human race) that each person needs to have a personal relationship with their God and a clear awareness of who (or what) their God is. Instead of just going along with what you have been taught about who (or what) God is. You need to rediscover the Truth for yourself, even if you come to the same conclusion, you will have grown in the process. And that's the purpose of asking "Who is God?".

God is God. You can't insult God by asking "who are You?". On the contrary, I believe it gives God the opportunity to reveal His/Her/Its true nature to you. You see, each person has free will. Each person is free to choose his/her thoughts. Therefore anyone can choose to believe in whatever they want. God does not force Him-/Her-/Itself onto anyone (only people can attempt to do that), otherwise we all would be of one mind, yet we're not.

God will only intervene if we ask, through speech, thought or emotion - we must reach out to God, before He will step in, otherwise it violates our free will.

Who is right?


Words were created by people. Words are influenced by beliefs, intentions, perspectives and feelings. Throughout most of our lives, we learn about God from people who speak and write words with their own intentions (not necessarily bad, but not all good either). They have many opinions about who God is and call God by many names. People have many opinions about who God is and call God by many names.

Hindus worship Brahman (a single Being of ultimate oneness), but they worship Brahman through many representations of gods and goddesses. Muslims believe in Allah, who is superior to and transcendent from humans. Christians believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit (the holy trinity). There are other religions too, and even within those religions, there are many variations of each. And each has its own concept of God (or no god), but they are all taught by people through interpretable words. We can't see God like we see people. So we all just kind of go along with and accept the beliefs of whatever the people in charge are saying, whether that's our parents, community leaders or governments.

But at some point in our lives we realize that we can think for ourselves, and often the explanations of others seem hollow. We only really learn through personal experience... And yet we find ourselves with other people all the time. Groups of people from the same religion mostly come to the same conclusion. Christians learn from the Bible and they say they know it's true, because their God from their Bible has proved Himself to them and they have experienced His goodness. Muslims learn from the Quran and they say they know it's true, because their God from their Quran has proved Himself to them and they have experienced His greatness.

So who is right?

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a Christian VS Muslim debate - the point I am trying to make is that all religions come to their own conclusions based on their own logic to prove their own God. And there is nothing wrong with that if you feel happy, safe, loved and excited about life. And harm nobody else. Although there are people who wouldn't agree with that. Some people think that there has to be a "right" religion and then, by extension, others must be wrong. But I'm not writing about them, or religion in fact. I'm writing about God.

God is Love


Regarding my answer to the question, "Who is God?"... God is Love. But what do I mean when I say Love? I don't necessarily mean the strong feeling of affection, although that is one way that we translate God.

How do you see with your eyes? When you look at an object, electrical signals travel via the optic nerves to an area in your brain called the thalamus. This then sends the information to the visual cortex, where it is examined in detail. How do you hear with your ears? Your ears enable you to detect vibrations in the air around you. We call these vibrations 'sound'. Sound travels through your ear and reaches the special receptor cells right inside your inner ear. These cells change the sound vibrations into electrical signals, which pass along the auditory nerve to the brain.

We have various senses that (as you can read above) translates vibrations and/or electrical signals into what we see, hear, smell etcetera. Our feelings/emotions are also a sense that we can use to translate the vibration of God. When I say God is Love, Love refers to a Universal vibration. Many people refer to it as Source Energy. 

God is Love, Love is Source Energy. Source Energy is God. This elicits a new question. What is Source Energy?

You are Source Energy

First, I want you to acknowledge that you are not just made of flesh and bone. Scientifically, you know that. Your body is made up of various systems, including the cardiovascular system, digestive system, nervous system, muscular system etcetera. What are these systems made of? Chemicals like oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. What are these chemicals made of, then? Molecules. What are molecules made of? Atoms.

An atom is made up of three tiny kinds of particles: protons, neutrons, and electrons. The protons and the neutrons make up the center of the atom called the nucleus and the electrons fly around above the nucleus in a small cloud. Quantum physicists discovered that physical atoms are made up of vortices of energy that are constantly spinning and vibrating, each one radiating its own unique energy signature. If you want to read more about the world of quantum physics, I suggest you read this article: click here.

To clarify, your physical body (everything, in fact) is made up of atoms. When you look at an atom (through special microscopes, of course!) you would see "a small, invisible tornado-like vortex, with a number of infinitely small energy vortices called quarks and photons". The atom (what you are made of) has no physical structure. Atoms (you) are made out of invisible energy, not solid matter.
Invisible energy... Source Energy? An invisible God? What thoughts come up as you read through this information?

God is Love, Love is Source Energy. The same energy that you are made of. 

Love in Religion


Every major religion has specific views about Love. Bahá'í teaches God's love is part of his own essence, and his love for his creatures gives them their material existence, divine grace and eternal life. Most Christians also believe that God is the source and essence of eternal love. In the New Testament, agapē is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love seen as creating goodness in the world, it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for others.

In the Sahih Muslim Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: “You will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another.” Muslims are directed by Allah in the ways to become close to Him and how to gain His love.

Love in Hinduism is sacrament. Prema or prem refers to elevated love. It preaches that one gives up selfishness in love, not expecting anything in return. It also believes "God is love". A sacred text named Kanda Guru Kavasa quotes, "For the thing which is everywhere is only Love, And Love is the only thing which is like a soul within us, Love is Kumara, Love is Kanda." Simply put it means, Love is God.

Remember, however, that religion is something that is formed by people. People write religious texts, even though they are "inspired by God". Two people can look at the same color, yet come to a different conclusion. Is it possible that two people can experience the same God, het come to a different conclusion, too?

Six Men and an Elephant


One of my favorite parables to explain the above is the parable of the six blind men and an elephant. It tells the story of six blind men who have never come across an elephant before. They try to conceptualize the elephant by touching it. But each blind man is touching a different part of the elephant's body. One is touching the tusk, another is touching its leg, another is touching its tail etcetera. They describe the elephant based on their limited experience. One says it feels like a tree trunk (leg) and another says it feels like a snake (trunk). They all end up disagreeing about what an elephant is. Each blind man is convinced that all the others are lying, because he knows what he feels is true, so they go to war about the concept of an elephant.

I believe this is an example of how people (and whole religions) conceptualize God based on a limited view of what/who God is. Nobody can see God, therefore we are essentially "blind" and can't know whether our experience of God is whole. People are inclined to project their limited experience onto the whole truth and don't consider the possibility that they may only be partially right and other people may be partially right, too.


In conclusion, I believe that God is Love, but not the conventional definition of Love. Love as in the highest energy vibration, that which we are all made of. God is Truth - timeless, unchangeable and immeasurable. Through our thoughts and our feelings (which are also vibrations) we translate and experience God and then we try to conceptualize our experience. We can use religion, any religion, to experience God, but God cannot be limited to any one religion. Not in my opinion anyway.

Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.


Thursday, May 25, 2017

Become an Instrument for Love | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

It's a really good thing to have goals in your life and to actively pursue them on a day to day basis. It provides a sense of purpose and direction, especially when your goals are aligned with your values and ideals. When you know yourself and what you want from life, it's easy to set goals and much more satisfying when you achieve them. I have dedicated a lot of my time and energy to discover who I am and what my Divine Purpose is, so that I could set goals aligned with my true self and create my ideal life. As a result, I can honestly say, working towards goals that I have set for myself, as opposed to working toward social ideals, is a deeply satisfying and inspiring experience.

However, I have come to the realization that their is a far, far greater experience that I have been missing out on, because I was so focused on setting the "right" goals for myself. I was so earnest to create opportunities that I might pursue these goals, that I forgot to surrender myself and my dreams to the Infinite Love and Knowledge of God (the Universe, Source, Higher Self or whatever you prefer to call it). You see, after spending the time to get to know myself and what I wanted from life, I was so excited to "get there" that I tripped over the "hows" and the "whens" and the "wheres". I failed to remember that the plans I have for myself and my life are part of a much bigger picture and that even that which I see for myself, pales in comparison to what God sees for me. 

Often we get so fixated on how we want things to work out and what we think should happen next, that we close our minds off to the infinite, creative possibilities that are available to us. Whenever you are single-minded about what "should be", you limit God's ability to work miracles in your life... We were granted the gift of free will, so God will not intervene unless we surrender our desires, our plans and our dreams to the Infinite Wisdom that is Source. God not only knows what is best for you, God (your Higher Self, Source, the Universe) knows what is best for everybody involved and the perfect way for it to unfold for the highest good of all. That does not mean God is not going to give you what you want, it means that God will give you what you want at the perfect time in the perfect way so that it benefits the world - so that your happiness benefits the world, too. 

We are all in this together and each person's happiness contributes to the Light and the Joy of the world. God wants you to be happy, the Universe wants all your dreams to come true (you wouldn't have a desire if it were not possible), because when you are truly happy, you shine a light so bright, it casts away the darkness. Light and dark can't exist in the same space at the same time, it's impossible. So when you are thriving, when you are living your life with hope, love and faith, you are literally God in motion and you become an Instrument for Love. Your life becomes a testimony for others that they, too, can follow their dreams, overcome their obstacles and live a life in Love, free from fear. That is why we are here, after all. To learn how to Love as God loves - unconditionally. 

If you rely only on your own power to set goals, hustle your heart out, create opportunities for yourself and move mountains in an attempt to achieve Greatness, your progress will be slow and you will often feel tired, frustrated and unworthy... But when you surrender the struggle, the hows, the whens and the wheres to the Universe, not only will the path open itself up for you, it will open up for others too. Surrendering to the Universe creates a ripple effect of changes, patterns and loving seeming-coincidences from which all will benefit. When YOU shift your approach to life, from a place of surrender (to faith, Love, God), rather than a place of obsessive control (of circumstance, people and outcomes) it shines a light onto all. 

As Gabrielle Bernstein writes in her book, The Universe Has Your Back, "There is no greater experience than allowing the presence of love to move through you". It's great to set goals and feel motivated about actively pursuing them and making something happen in the world... But don't forget to tune into your Higher Power. Pause for a moment and be willing to be an Instrument of Love throughout your life. When you surrender your desires to the unlimited power of the Universe, and let Love direct your life, your dreams will come true in magnificent ways. It will open the floodgates for miracles and Truth, which will break down the walls others have built around themselves and cast a bright light, driving out our fears, our doubts and all hate. 

Light and dark can't exist in the same space at the same time, it's impossible.

Become an Instrument for the Love of the Universe. Bernstein writes, "Begin each day with a prayer, How will You use me? then step back and allow. Let love direct your life." When you are willing to do this, you will feel Love working through you. You will think like you have never thought before, speak like you have never spoken before. You will persevere where previously you would have given up. You will receive guidance, support and protection. It's a really good thing to have goals in your life and to actively pursue them on a day to day basis. And it's a magical and exciting experience, when you let LOVE direct your path.