Thank You 2016 | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

2016

Why is it that so many posts on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are hating on this year? Of course, like any other year, it has had it's ups and downs, but all in all, I had a great 2016. As the year is coming to a close, I would like to take a moment to write an open letter to each and every person that has played a role, however small, in my year.

First of all, thank you to my mom and dad. Thank you for loving me no matter what. I have never needed to doubt that I am loved and that no matter what happens, you will always be there for me. Thank you for being human - you never acted like adults were flawless. So I know that my mistakes are part of growing up. Thank you for daily messages of love and hope and for listening when I needed you to.

Hanco. Thank you for making 2016 magic. Thank you for being my best friend and falling in love with me all over again. Thank you for always being yourself and never changing anything to suit anybody else (including me!). Thank you for teaching me how to have more fun and how to let go of my need to control how things happen and just let them happen (although I'm still working on that). Thank you for having fun with me on YouTube and for letting me play with your Xbox. Oh, and letting me bleach your hair blonde.

Of course, there is so much more I could thank these three people for. They are my favorite people in the whole wide world and I love them so much, but I don't want this letter to accumulate into a book.

To all my friends and extended fam, thank you all so, so much for having fun with me this year! You guys are too awesome. Thank you for the love and support. Specifically, thank you William for being the coolest guy ever and for making Hanco and I feel so at home in Durban! It sucks that you moved, but thank you for all nights out and sleepovers and for definitely never being boring. We'll see you in Cape Town soon.
Thank you Faranah for making me feel like a Henna princess throughout the year! And for hours of talk and Disney songs and strange movies. It sucks that you moved all the way to IRELAND, but I hope that you and Ghulam are happy and that the kids are having fun.
Joey, thank you for being the best friend ever since '95 (lol kidding but still). Thank you for giving great hugs and always being the one who brings the wine. I hope that in 2017 you move as soon as you can to Durban so that we get to hang out more often.

There are many other wonderful people to thank, too. Franco and Corno, thanks y'all for being hilarious (most of the time) and making me laugh. Your family really showed me what being a fam really is. A lotta fighting but a whole lot more love.
The Circle - we had a good run guys! Thanks Adam, Tevin, Ash, Tyrone, Carina, Melandi, Shanay. Thank you for awesome adventures, like the Color Run, The Kongos, beach missions, Origin missions and YouTube videos!
Then, another special thanks to Ryan and Jeanetta for being such great friends and literally being so much fun I can't even. We are really, really looking forward to y'all moving to Durban next year too so that we can have more fun together.
Marni, Soné, thanks for being such adorable, fun, busybodies and for all of your love throughout the year! You two are just the cutest.
Tayla and Tammy, thank you for being the best landlord and for making us feel so at home. Tammy, thank you for your kindness!
Stefmeister! Thank you for all the laughs and great DIY videos!

Also, to my friends that I don't get to see all that often, but who have a special place in my heart and will always be in my prayers and my life, thank you for being such wonderful people that (even though I hardly ever see you) I am sure of your love and kindness no matter how distant we are... Johann HAM-man, you will forever be the BEST brother in the WORLD. Ever.
Mara, mi hermana. Yo siempre pienso en ti. Te amo siempre.
Marianka en Romanda, julle is so groot deel van wie ek is vandag. Dankie vir alles.
Jessica, thank you for your quick visit! It was wonderful to see you this year and I hope to see you again soon. You haven't changed a bit, you are still just as wonderful!
Arno! Thank you for sharing memories of us on Facebook! We really had some good times and I miss you. And Ali! I miss you too!

Then I would also like to thank each and every person who has ever watched or commented or liked one of our YouTube videos. It has been so fun to make videos for 031Living on YouTube this year and I love being able to share the experience with others. Thank you to everyone for your support. SPECIAL thanks to Janike and Rihané! We always love seeing comments from you and we hope that we can one day make a YouTube video with you too! Lots of love <3
Thank you to Hanco's mom and dad for always watching our videos too and for the support (and obviously so much more!). We love you so, so much. Thank you for your feedback and kind messages all throughout the year.

Phew! So many, many more people that I am grateful for. To each person I don't know, who walked by me and gave me a smile, thank you. To each person who packed my grocery bags at the shops, thank you. To the people who make the food I eat at restaurants and who to those who grow and pack apples and to whoever makes 90% dark chocolate, THANK YOU. To each dog or cat that allowed me to pet them this year, thank you. You for sure always make me feel better. Thank you to the Creators of Google and YouTube and thank you Steve Jobs for Apple. 

I wish I could thank each and every person who contributed to my 2016 - but there are so many, it might take me another year! And even though each and every one of you deserves a personal thank you, I can only send the world love and I hope that it will reach you. No, I am sure that it will reach you, because I know that when anyone sends love into the world, it grows and expands and flows to where it needs to. My prayer for 2017 is that more love and more joy is sent out into the world and that it grows and expands and envelops all those who allow it into their lives. 

I sincerely hope that you all had a wonderful December, whether you celebrate Xmas, or not. I hope that you spent lots of time with your family and friends and people who care about you and make you feel good. I am really happy and blessed to say that I am ending this year in such a good place, even better than how it had started and I have no regrets from this year and no bad blood between myself and anyone else. 

The best advice my now-self would have given my beginning-of-2016-self, is breathe. When you are glad, breathe it in, and if you feel any negative emotion, breathe it out. So, because I can't go back in time and tell my past self, I will take this with me into 2017. Breathe in joy, all year round. Have courage and be kind. 

Love you all

Kayla 

2016 in a nutshell

2016 | The Year of Realizing Stuff

MAGIC

That was my word for 2016.

At the end of 2015, many things were changing. I had been living in Stellenbosch/Western Cape for 4 years, but by this time I was on my way back to Richards Bay. I had just finished with my hairdressing course at Stellenbosch Hair Academy and decided to move back home and stay with my dad for awhile, while he and my mom were going through the motions of divorce (a year later, hardly anything has moved, however it is still happening). I thought that this was what was best for everyone, because I could be there to support both my parents, I had a (what seemed to be great) job secured at a hair salon, so I would be able to save money (I thought) and earn experience.

As the last day of 2015 came to an end, I decided not to make plans to go out, but rather to spend the evening by myself at home. My dad was away for work, so I was excited to be able to meditate right into 2016 - which I did. I wrote about my dreams and my plans and chose a word for 2016 - MAGIC. Now let me just say this, when something is straight up IN YOUR FACE, you are so preoccupied with the tiny little details and faults that you tend to miss the bigger picture. But now that we are at the end of the winding road that was 2016 and I have the opportunity to look back and evaluate the year as a whole, I have to say that yes, the year was indeed more MAGICAL than I had realized.

The first thing that I have to mention happened literally only a few hours into the new year. But to really understand the significance of it, let me fill in the backstory.  Half of the people that I call my friends right now, actually don't know that before this year, Hanco and I hadn't seen each other for four years. In fact, out of those four years, we were probably only on speaking terms for a couple of months and had only seen each other twice. In (VERY) short, we had dated in high school and we were convinced that we were meant to be, however, when I moved to Cape Town things didn't go quite as planned and we broke up quite abruptly. It was a confusing and distressing time, to say the least (I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but for two years I was completely distraught, confused and had very little faith in life, because our relationship was rooted in our strong belief in our religion at the time).

Flashback over. Obviously a lot had happened in those four years and both of us eventually moved on. However, on the very first day of January 2016, probably at about 2:00 or 3:00am, Hanco called me out of the blue. He had nothing that he specifically wanted to tell me, he had just had a strong feeling that he wanted to call me. Fast forward 11 months later, both of us had quit our jobs, moved to Durban and are now living and working together. Sounds like magic? Well, if you don't know how it had all happened, it certainly might seem that way!

I won't bore y'all with too many details, but Kylie Jenner was right for sure. 2016 really was the year of realizing stuff.

I realized that things don't need to change overnight for it to be magic and that I really don't want to just skip over my whole life just to get to the "good" parts anyway. I realized that there really are no good moments or bad moments and that it's all a matter of perspective - if I want to feel good then I have to decide to feel good. I can't spend my whole life waiting for the weekend, waiting for the sun to shine or waiting for my to ship come in. 

I've realized, once again, that I can't keep everyone happy and that my highest priority should be to take care of me. "I can't pour from an empty cup", meaning that I can't be a good friend, or daughter or girlfriend if I don't make sure that I am filled with a sense of inner peace and joy and I can only be filled if I take care of my needs first. When I am taken care of, I am emotionally stronger and physically able to help and take care of those around me. 

I think everyone should spend some time thinking about the past year. No, not stressing about what didn't happen or sulking about something not-so-great that did happen. I mean, take some time to think about what there is to be grateful for in your life and how this past year has contributed to what you have right now - whether it is material things or a sense of inner strength or maturity, make a conscious decision to focus your attention on the good in your life right now. If you REALLY can't think of anything that you're grateful for right now, be thankful for that contrast - because at least you know what you DON'T want your life to be like, so you can direct all your energy in the opposite direction. If you know what don't want, then you automatically are more aware of what you DO want, so if you are able to focus your attention on that... Well then, you are going to have a magical 2017! 

Thank you so very, very much to each person that was a part of making 2016 such a memorable year for me. I am so wonderfully excited for 2017, guys, it's UNBELIEVABLE. I am also super eager to share everything that's going to happen with you all, I have so many plans for the new year and even if they don't go exactly as planned, I will be documenting it all along the way so that you can be a part of this thrilling story! 

Hoping you have a beautiful and festive last few weeks of December 2016 and that you spend lots of time with the people you love and eat yummy XMAS-puddings and if you're in South Africa with me, I hope that you get to enjoy the BEACH and that your tan is on point for 2017.

All my love, and don't forget that YOU are The Creator. 

XXX 

Things I do to Feel Better | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

I'd love to share with you the little games that I play when I don't feel good. When I play them (consciously) they always make me feel better. These are great things to do if you are feeling unhappy or frustrated or even angry at someone (or yourself). I hope that when you read this, you find a few little gems that you can carry in you pocket for days when things aren't (seemingly) going so well and when the time comes you can take them out, roll them over in your hand and choose which one would be the best and most fun to use.

1. The Breathing Game

This one is the simplest and yet the most effective and honestly once I understood this game, I also understood (in part) why smoking relieves stress. Think about it, when people go have a smoke, they focus their attention on the cigarette and their breathing. Deep inhalations and exhalations. However, I don't smoke and you don't need a cigarette to play this game.

How it works: the moment that you realize you are experiencing an emotion that does not feel good to you (like when you feel angry or anxious) you have to intentionally decide to play this game. Once you have decided to play, if possible, close your eyes (you can play with open eyes too though, I mostly do).

 Put the tip of your tongue on your the roof of your mouth (specifically the space right behind your front teeth). Breathe in slowly through your nose and as you do, imagine breathing in 'good feelings' - whatever that might look like to you! Use your imagination. I imagine breathing in sparkling air (if that makes any sense at all!). Try and breathe in really deeply and feel your chest open up. As you breathe out through your mouth, let your tongue relax and pout your mouth a little. Imagine you are blowing out the bad feelings. I imagine breathing out a dark energy 😗 ...  Repeat at least ten times or until you start feeling better!

This works for me because my body 'releases' the bad feelings and then I am able to approach the situation (whatever made me feel bad) with a new perspective.

2. The Goods List

This game does wonders to lift your mood! Even if you start out playing it just to "get it over with" you will eventually feel your mood shift and walk away feeling at least content (if not very happy)! You can play it anywhere and it's easy to do in your head, but it can be even more beneficial if you get out a piece of paper and a pen and write it down.

How it works: the moment that you realize you are experiencing an emotion that does not feel good to you (like when you feel disappointed or worried) you have to intentionally decide to play this game. Either in your head or on a piece of paper, list ten good things in your life (right now or something that has recently happened).

You can list the most simple things, in fact, the 'simpler' the better. For example, I usually list something I recently ate that tasted really good! I list funny moments that made me laugh or compliments that people have recently given me. I list mornings when it felt really good to sleep in or I think about a dog I had just met at a park and had fun playing catch with (it wasn't even my dog!).

 To make the game even more fun you can do two things:

• When you list a good thing, take a moment to replay a memory thereof in your mind. Think of the expression you had in that moment, how you felt, what about the moment (or thing) made it good. If you have the time, it's good to remember as much detail as you can.
• Every time you list another good thing and you finish thinking about it and remembering it or describing to yourself what about it makes it good, go back and quickly go through the things you have already listed. Just mentally run through a word that represents each thing you have listed then go on to the next one. 

It doesn't have to be ten things, I used to only do three. You can even do twenty if you want! 

3. Happy Music

 I think it is a pretty well-known thing that music can affect your mood. According to this online text, "Outside of music affecting the brain as an emotional experience, it is also a physical experience. One reason for this is a hormone related to bonding called oxytocin." So of course I use music to feel better, especially if I'm feeling unmotivated or worried. 

How it works: the moment that you realize you are experiencing an emotion that does not feel good to you (like when you feel uninspired or distressed) you have to intentionally decide to play this game. Get out some earphones or just turn the music up a little louder than usual on the TV or radio. The best thing to do, however, is to use your phone or YouTube so that you can choose which songs to listen to. It's important to choose songs that you know you really enjoy listening to and that have a catchy beat! Make a Happy Music playlist on your phone or, hey! Who still makes mixed CDs? 

Take a break from whatever your doing and listen (and maybe sing or dance along!) to a few songs. If it's possible, leave the music on in the background when you continue with whatever you were doing before. But it's important to take a short break and just listen to the music. Here are some of the songs in my Happy Music playlist:

• "Best Day of My Life," American Authors
• "Let It Go," Idina Menzel
• Major Lazer ft. NYLA & Fuse ODG - "Light it Up"
•  Martin Garrix ft. Usher - "Don't Look Down"
• Galantis - "Runaway (U&I)" 
• Daft Punk ft. Pharrell - "Get Lucky"

These are my three favorite games to play when I feel shitty and when I intentionally decide to play one and do it consciously for at least five to ten minutes, I always feel better. Sometimes The Goods List feels like too much effort, so I just play Happy Music. Sometimes my brain is overflowing with negative thoughts and worry so I have to breathe it out before I can even think about listening to music or making feel-good lists and remembering the good things in my life. The Breathing Game is really the easiest and most beneficial game (for me) and when you get really good at it you can play it while you make fun lists and listen to your favorite songs.

Other things I do include yoga and, when it's possible, I literally just get up and leave - usually I end up at my favorite shopping mall, just because it really feels good to walk around and look at all the shops and the people. 

I hope that the next time you aren't feeling too great or maybe even when you're feeling completely horrible that you remember these little gems and that when you take them out, they catch the rays of the sun and gleam in the palm of your hand! Play them, have fun with them, and remember that you are always loved and the power to feel good lies in your hands.

All my love and remember that YOU are The Creator 💜💜

How to feel Better | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

If you're anything like me, you'll find that sometimes you feel really good and sometimes you feel really bad (anyone?). I want to share something with you called the 'emotional scale' which has really helped me in the past to stay focused on feeling better and not drown in that pit of self-despair, because let's face it. Once somethign happens in a minute of our day that crushes our mood, we keep milking that minute for the rest of the day and it's as if things just get worse and worse. It doesn't have to be that way though.

Most of us only realize we're not feeling good until we're feeling really bad, but if we checked in on ourselves more frequently to find out exactly what it is that we're feeling, we stand a much better chance of preventing ourselves from getting depressed and feeling very intense bad emotions. It's not like you just wake up one morning, completely depressed and ready to jump off a bridge - it's a gradual process. One that can be stopped and reversed long before we hit rock-bottom.

The emotional scale:

Many people find themselves more or less in the Orange space - they're disappointed, they worry about a lot of stuff, they blame others for the things that go "wrong"... Sometimes they move two spaces up, sometimes they move two spaces down. Others I've seen descend slowly down to the Grey space... Something 'big' happens in their lives and they slowly (or quickly) descend into grief, depression and powerlessness. This can mean one of two things. Either they let the depression consume them, eating away at their lives and eventually they die in their despair, or they live the rest of their lives oscillating between depression and anger. 

Or, as so many have done before, they use their intense grief as a strong reason to move forward and onward and upward. Many of those people who choose to get better, even when met (again) with disappointment or doubt or worry - they have already gone through "the worst" and they use it as fuel to propel them towards everything they want. Because they have met with the epitome of despair, they know that they needn't go back and they move on. You can't see the stars without darkness. 

It's lovely to know about the Emotional Scale of course, the analogy created by Esther and Jerry Hicks, but how can you use it to your advantage? One of the most valuable things that I have learned from reading so many of their books is that I don't have to feel better all at once. It's nearly impossible to jump from anger, rage and revenge to enthusiasm, happiness and positive expectation. If you can catch yourself earlier on, however, during the Orange space, when you start feeling doubt and worry... Instead of letting those feelings drag you down, immediately turn your attention up (we'll talk about how to do that in a minute). It is much quicker to get from discouragement to enthusiasm, than to get from depression to positive expectation. Does that make sense?

How do you move up the emotional scale?

1. Check in with yourself - really ask yourself, as often as possible, how are you feeling right now? 

2. Acknowledge your feelings. You don't really have to worry to much about why you are feeling this, just confirm that you would like to feel better. 

3. Think about what feeling or emotion is 1 level, or maybe even 2 levels up on the emotional scale. 

For example, if you are feeling despair/powerlessness, it would be anger/rage. 

Now many may argue that it's not good to feel anger or hatred and of course it's not if you're planning on staying there forever. But you're not. Don't you agree that anger is a little better-feeling than depression? At least when you're angry, it comes from a place of power, whereas depression comes from a place of powerlessness. 

4. Once you have identified what feeling it is that you want to move towards, direct all of your attention on that. It's easy to do - just think of as many examples as you can where you have felt that way in the past. Imagine scenarios in your mind that would make you feel like that now.

For example, if you're bored and frustrated that things haven't worked out the way you would have liked it to, but you know that you would like to feel happy and eager for the good things to come, then imagine a time in your life where you have felt happy and eager. Remember that time when you were on holiday and you were so excited while packing your bags to go on that week-long beach trip? Or listen to songs that give you that eager and excited feeling. Or imagine things working out the way you would like them to and focus on the feeling of happiness that it would bring. Just keep boosting that feeling.

5. Repeat step 4 until it becomes your dominant feeling.

And that's how you move up the emotional scale. It really is an easy process, but it does require that you consciously make the decision to feel better. It does mean that you have to get off AUTO-PILOT and be aware of your emotions so that they can guide you to living a life of joy. If you missed my post about why you should let your emotions be your guide, read it here.

I hope that this post was helpful to you. In the next post, I would like to share more little "tricks" or activities that I use to feel better and better all the time. Until then, have a beautiful weekend!

All my love! And remember that YOU are The Creator 💜💜

Look for a Way to Feel Better | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

Wherever you are right now, find a way to feel 

relief. You do not need to jump from feeling depressed to feeling passionate and grateful and joyful, but you do need to take the first step. Look at your options and gravitate toward whatever you can do that will give allow you the alleviation of pain, discomfort or distress. Anything that offers even a slight feeling of reassurance and relaxation is ten times better than anything that doesn't feel good at all.

You needn't do anything drastic, like quit your job or divorce your partner - you might think, at first, that doing this will make you feel better, but sometimes taking steps that are too big and that you are not ready for will inevitably causes more harm than good. No need to jump ship, but do find a way, any way, to feel even slightly better. Small actions accumulate into big changes. 

Abraham-Hicks writes about the 'Stream of Life'. This is a stream that constantly flows and the problem is that most people think we need to swim against the current. We are taught that life is difficult and things that are easy are not worth doing. The real heroes are the ones who have suffered and it takes time and hard work and a lot of sacrifice to get to where we want to be. Of course this is true, if you make it to be so. You can swim upstream all you want and through your hard work and determination you will probably get what you set out to achieve, sometimes. However that's going about it the hard way. If only you would let go of preconceptions and expectations and the "have to's" and the "I should's" and you allow yourself to be carried by the flow of the water downstream, you meet with all of the joy and achievement of everything that you have always wanted. 

I understand that you are met with contrast every single day - you certainly know what you don't want. You don't want to be stuck in this dead end job. You don't want to go to bed alone every night. You don't want to weigh a much, or as little, as you currently are. You don't want to live a limited life. But you see, the beauty of contrast is, is that it reveals to you what you do want. If there was no darkness, we would never see the stars.

It is because you have known sadness that you so clearly know that you want joy. It is because you have known defeat that you so clearly know that you want to win. If life has caused you to want something, it is sure to come true, if you allow it. Often, however, we hold on so tightly to what IS that we stunt the natural growth of our experience. You focus so much on what it is you do not want and all it does is strengthen your knowing of what you do want, but you don't take your attention off of what you DON'T want long enough for what you DO want to flow into your experience. 

Stubborn bunch, aren't we? 

Wherever you are right now, find a way to feel relief. You don't decide to go on holiday and then in the blink of an eye you are there and then in the blink of an eye it's done - no. How many times have you read or heard the phrase, life is not about the destination, it's about the journey. Do we really understand the meaning behind it? I don't think so, because if we did, we would have a little more faith and a lot more fun. When you set your GPS to take you to a specific destination, it might take you a few hours or maybe even a day or two to get there. Sometimes you take a wrong turn, but the GPS always redirects you and gets you back on track. Sometimes you stop to have lunch or admire the scenery. That doesn't mean you aren't going to get to your predetermined destination eventually. 

Life is not about the destination, it's about the journey. So why do choose to live the hard way? Why do we swim upstream? You can swim upstream all you want and through your hard work and determination you will probably get what you set out to achieve, sometimes. But it's so much easier and MORE FUN to swim downstream. Swimming downstream doesn't mean giving up or taking the easy way out, stop trying to justify your strenuous means. There is no good reason to do it the hard way. 

I can write metaphorically until my fingers turn blue, but I know what you are thinking - what does this mean? What does it mean to "swim downstream"? It doesn't necessarily mean that you will wake up tomorrow morning next to the love of your life, with millions in the bank and your dream body (although it might happen!). Swimming downstream means that wherever you are right now, you find a way, any way, to feel a little bit better. If that means taking the day off, take the day off. If that means taking a nap, take a nap. If that means visiting someone who makes you smile or watching your favorite comedy, do that. 

In the next post, I will share more about how to feel better. In the mean time, just breathe and find relief. Relax.

All my love! And remember - YOU are The Creator. 

Let Your Emotions be Your Guide | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

In the last post I gave an overview of my understanding of the Law of Attraction (read it here). Right now I would like to pick up the discussion where I left off, which was about how to use your emotions to attract and lead you towards the life of your dreams.

There are five commonly recognized senses which include sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. But we also have a sixth sense - emotion. When you were born, your senses developed naturally. Your taste nerve cells are clustered in the taste buds on your tongue and in your throat and they react to food/drinks mixed with saliva. This just happens - nobody taught you how to taste. In the same sense, no one taught you to feel emotions.

Granted, we are taught to feel specific emotions in response to specific external stimuli (for example, we're generally taught to feel disappointment/shame when we fail at something), but the experience of feeling in the first place in natural.

Whenever you want something, like money, a new job or someone to love, it's stimulated by the feeling of 'not having' it. The experience "I don't have enough money" creates the desire "I want more money". As your desire grows more intense, your vibrational self expands to align with your growing desire. If you want to understand what I mean with "vibrational self, then watch this video, because you need to understand who you truly are before you can understand how to use your emotions to guide you to living the life of your dreams.

The emotions you feel in any given moment shows you whether or not you are in vibrational alignment with who you really are. Your Highest Self knows what you really want and that you can have it all right now, but if you are putting out vibrations that do not match that exciting, knowing signal, then you are going to feel 'bad'

• jealousy 
• hate
• doubt
• overwhelmed

If in the moment you are putting out vibrations that match the vibration of your Highest Self, you are going to feel 'good'

• contentment 
• optimism
• passion
• joy and appreciation

It's important to be more aware of how you are feeling, because if you are feeling bad, it means you are not in alignment with Source Energy, which means you are currently attracting things into your life which will cause you to feel wore. In the words of Abraham-Hicks:

You must find a way to allow yourself to keep up with what life is causing you to become, if you are to live the joyous life you came here to live. 

When you feel like you don't have something, it intensifies your desire to have it. Most of us believe that if we had what we wanted, we would certainly feel a whole lot better. Even though I don't argue with the fact that it's much easier to come into vibrational alignment when you are surrounded by physical manifestations of your deepest desire, that doesn't mean you can't feel good now even in the physical absence of those desires. 

Feeling good, or feeling anything for that matter, happens in your mind first. It doesn't come from doing anything. Match your thoughts with the vibration of what you want want first, otherwise no amount of action will bring you the results that you desire (well, not without much strain and effort anyway). 

You can't feel POOR and attract PROSPERITY. Likewise, you can't feel RICH and attract poverty into your own life. Your point of attraction is in this moment, evident in what you are feeling right now - that is an indication of the kind of experiences that you're manifesting into your life. 

When you feel happy and loved (or any good-feeling emotion) you are a match with your True Self/Source Energy/God, which is exactly what you intended when you chose to come into this Universe. 

When you feel doubt, worry or hate (or any bad-feeling emotion) you are holding yourself apart from your natural alignment with your True Self/Source Energy/God. Your emotions will always tell you whether you are keeping up with your inner growth and expansion, therefore creating and attracting better feeling thoughts and experiences into your life. The most important thing then in life is to FOLLOW YOUR BLISS. 

Let me know what you all think about this post and whether there is something you would like me to explain more about. I'm already excited for the next one. 

Much love, and remember that You are The Creator. 

The Most Powerful Law in the Universe | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

It feel so good to be back on the blogging scene - I know I have disappeared for a while. I have been so focused on creating video content that my blog has come to a complete stand still. And yet here I am, with something I would love to share, yet no desire to make a video about it (right now). I've decided to share it on my blog and hopefully getting back into posting regularly on Blogger.

 I recently started a new YouTube channel dedicated to aesthetics and spirituality, see it here. At the moment there are only three videos and what I will be writing about today was supposed to be the fourth, but I feel like maybe I'm not completely ready to commit to this channel yet, but I really do want to share this message and I know that it is only a matter of time until I am going to commit to this channel. I believe in only doing things that feel good to you. Before you do something, either find a way to feel good about it or don't do it (yet).

The video I wanted to do was about the most powerful law in the Universe. The Law of Attraction. To be able to fully understand it, you need to understand who you are. If you feel like you don't really know what I mean when I say that you are a vibrational being, please watch this video before you keep reading: Who you really are.

Great! The Law of Attraction simply states 'that which is like unto itself is drawn'. It works like a radio does - a radio is set to a specific frequency and you are then able to tune into a radio station and listen to that specific station's show or music. You can't set the radio to 94.5 and expect to hear what's going on on 105.1
Your vibration works in the same way. You can't feel bad and expect to tune into good vibes. The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, distorted people's understanding of the LOA (Law of Attraction). But I am not going to focus on the distortion thereof, but rather on my understanding of it and how I've come to truly experience it's power in my own life. Whatever you give your attention to, consciously or unconsciously, causes your body, your atoms, your very energetic being, to emit certain vibrations. The vibrations that you are sending out is your point of attraction.

If you want something, all you have to do is focus on the feeling of having it, and it will be yours. BUT if you want something, yet you are more focused on the feeling of NOT having it, the LOA will match the dominant vibration and you will get more of "I don't have it yet". Nothing changes.

The reason people don't believe in the LOA is because they attempt "using" it once and if it doesn't "work" like they expect it to within a week or a day, they conclude that it's not true. This isn't merely positive thinking that works for some people, but not for others. This is Universal Law and much like gravity, whether you understand it or not, it's always present. You have practised a specific VIBRATION for a very long time  and the LOA responds to it. If you want to change the way it responds to you, you have to change your vibration.
What does that mean?

The best way I know how to explain all of this is by using the example of neural pathways. A neural pathway connects one part of your nervous system with another via a bundle of axons. A neural pathway is like a road that you choose to drive/walk day after day after day, on your way to work/school. Every time you take that specific road, the memory of it becomes more solid in your mind. Basically, it gets stronger and stronger and this is how habits are formed. You can read more about this on TrueVitality.com

When you keep doing something over and over, eventually you don't even have to think about it anymore, it becomes natural (like riding a bike - remember how difficult that used to be?). So let's get back to what I said about your practised vibration. People try thinking positively for a week, things don't go too well and then they come to the conclusion that the LOA doesn't work. But what is a week's worth of changed thinking compared to what you have been thinking for all those years before? You have years and years of conditional thinking engraved into your brain.

Summarily, when you think about a thing that you want, how does it make you FEEL - good or bad? If it makes you feel good, you are 'using' the LOA for yourself, because the LOA will match your good feeling vibration and give you more of that, which will inevitably bring to you that which causes you to feel good. If you think about what you want and it makes you feel bad (discouraged, envious, impatient), then you are 'using' the LOA against yourself, because you are focused on NOT having it and therefore the LOA will match THAT feeling and you get more NOT having it.

That which is like unto itself is drawn. It's not so much about what you're thinking about, it's about what are you feeling about that which you are thinking about. In the words of Abraham-Hicks:

Every thought, every idea, every being, every thing is vibrational, so when you focus your attention on something, your vibration starts to reflect the vibration of that which you are giving your attention to. The more you think about it, the more you vibrate like it. The more you vibrate like it, the more of that which is similar is attracted to you. 

You always get what you think about most - but do you really know what you are thinking?

Thank you so much for reading this post, I hope I will be able to record a video about the LOA soon. There is so much more to this topic. In the next post (or video) I want to focus on how you can use your emotions as a GUIDE to getting everything that you want.

All my love! And remember that YOU are the Creator.

Have Faith | Design Life

I don't usually write religious posts, because, in my opinion, religion is subjective and usually ends up offending someone. Faith, however, isn't dependent on a specific religion, so even though it's usually associated with religion in general, it's relevant to most major religions. Faith usually means one of two things:

1. A strong belief in the  doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof, or

2. complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

To me, having faith means believing in something even when others have doubts (sometimes, even when you have doubts!). Faith is believing in yourself even when others don't.
 Life can be pretty scary sometimes. We get so caught up in the "HOW could it ever be possible?" that the HOW becomes bigger and bigger, and we end up not even trying. We all get scared sometimes...

How will I pay my rent at the end of the month?
Will she ever forgive me?
I don't want to go to gym - what if people laugh at me?
What if I don't know anyone there?
I'm not good enough for him.

We all have our demons. It's like the whisper in the back of your mind and run up and down your spine. Fear. They make you fear change. They make you feel unworthy. They make you unforgiving, and unforgivable. Your demons are wrong.

Have faith in yourself. Put your demons to sleep. You are worth so much more than you think. Have faith in your future. The present is a powerful thing. And what you put out in thoughts now, whether it's thoughts of worry or thoughts of faith, will influence the eventual outcome.

Uncertainty attracts misery. Faith attracts confidence.

Trust me, I realize this is easier said than done. I never write to moralize or preach about what anyone should or shouldn't be doing. I am literally just talking to myself right now.
It's easy to have faith when things are going really well. But the moment a difficulty presents itself, you forget how far you have come and focus only on the distance you still need to go. The distance from where you are, to where you want to be, is irrelevant.
Focus on the goal. And do whatever you can, with whatever you have, from wherever you are.
Here are a few tips to help you when you lack faith, and focus (if you'd like, write them down or print them out - keep it somewhere you can reread it when you feel like giving up):

- BREATHE. Imagine inhaling clear, white light (your faith) and exhaling any negative, dark feelings of fear or doubt.

- Write down a few phrases that make you feel really good. Do at least three. Compliments about yourself, a few things that you are proud of that you've already accomplished, or write down the first thing you would do when whatever you're working towards does happen (imagine it too!).

- Listen to a few feel good songs. Sing along - who gives a f what other people think. Try 'What makes you beautiful' by One Direction (I know you know the words).

- Smile at strangers. Send someone that comes to mind an inspirational picture or quote that you really like. Tell someone you love that you love them.

- Browse through funny memes. Watch funny cat videos. Take your dog for a run.

Okay lovely people, I'm almost done. Just remember that we're all going have doubts sometimes, but it doesn't matter how many times you fall.

"Fall down seven times, stand up eight."

Keep moving forward. Have faith in yourself& put your demons to sleep. You are worth so much more than you think. You deserve to have everything that you want. Happiness and Success is your birthright. Do whatever you can, with whatever you have, from wherever you are - and keep your focus on the GOAL.

All my love

Kayla

Know Thyself | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

We are practically forced to spend 18 (or more) years in the educational system and yet nobody bothers to teach us the importance of self-worth and how to truly love ourselves. A happy life, without self-love, is impossible. Without a strong knowingness of who you are, life will seem aimless and without meaning.

We are taught to be people who conform to behaviour that has been approved without our consent. The intention with which this has been decided is unknown to me, but what I do know is that you cannot have a healthy, growing society if the members thereof do not have the right to think for themselves. 

We can't, however, blame those in power for keeping us in the dark. Most of us choose not to think for ourselves, because letting others think for us seems so much easier. We are terrified of the infinite depth of our own minds, but only because we do not understand it. It seems so much easier to hand our power to think and decide over to others - our parents, friends, the government, religion - because if something goes wrong we do not need to carry the burden of responsibility ourselves. It is so much easier to blame others than to accept accountability for our own thoughts and actions. 

I am in no position to tell you otherwise though. I have no authority to tell you whether what you are doing is right or wrong. I believe that we all have authority over ourselves and if we choose to hand authority over to someone or some thing else, that decision in itself was made by you and you will live the by-products of your choice until you choose otherwise. But, if you have ever found yourself thinking that you want to be more, do more and have more, but you feel you cannot, you have given away your power. Unless you are okay with leading a life of mediocrity, shuffling around in the dark, or living up to the standards of others instead of living out your true potential and ultimate joy, you need to decide to get to know yourself a little more.

 It is a commitment that takes time. And you cannot face yourself for the first time and expect nothing to change - there will be great change. First inside of you and then around you. 

Tips& things to remember when you decide to get to know yourself:

- The journey is different for everyone. What works for someone else, won't necessarily work for you.

- There is no end. You don't wake up one morning and feel "Yes, I am complete, I know myself now."It's a continuous process. 

- You don't have to be serious about it. The process is much quicker when you approach it with an open mind and a willingness to learn and have fun. 

- You cannot judge yourself for anything you discover.

- Not everyone will understand you like you do. 

- You cannot judge others if they don't think like you or act like you.

- The more questions you ask, the better.

- Accept that you don't need all of your questions answered right now. 

- Not everyone in your life at the moment will stay with you on your journey (however, this is true whether you choose to take the journey of self-discovery or not)

There's a lot more I can share with you, however I won't make this post too long. What I would really like for you to understand, however, is that getting to know You (the REAL YOU, NOT the multiple masks you wear to please your parents, your friends and society) is the most thrilling and worthwhile adventure anyone can undertake. 

"The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want is to KNOW YOURSELF. And the only way to know yourself, is to BE YOURSELF. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart."

- Mike Dooley 

Don't be afraid of sitting in the silence. At first it may seem overwhelming, because you haven't really listened to You for so long, YOU are bound to have  a lot of questions and things to say. Just listen, you don't need to have the answers right now. But give yourself chance to speak. Take the time to get to know yourself.

Life could be better than you've ever thought possible. Enjoy the ride. 

P E R S E V E R E | Design Life

Hello and welcome to the DesignLife blog where we discuss Holistic Beauty, Personal Development and a little bit of Magic!

Sometimes things are going to go wrong and you won't know what to do about it. And that's okay. Sometimes you will have been the cause of your own suffering.
And that's okay too.

I would like for you to forgive yourself. Just for a moment, be okay with the mistakes you've made. Be okay with not being where you thought you would be by now. Be okay with yourself, as you are.

I would like to say that you are not defined by your past. But you are. As much as we would like to use our past as a justification for our failure or disappointments, however, we can't. Everyone has their own cross to bear. We all have ghosts that haunt in the farthest reaches of our minds, preying on our fears and doubts, brought about by past experiences. No matter how much we would like to, or how often we do, we can't use our ghosts to liberate us from our responsibility.

I am responsible for my approach to life. It's my choice whether to carry my past as a heavy burden, drudging with it across the chosen path, or to use it as a stepping stone or carving tool to forge greater promenades. I would like for you to choose the latter. People are made up of memories - constructed by recollection and the stories we tell. Our past echoes in the hollows of the songs we sing and the words we choose to speak. But, it is not impossible to dance in the rain.

It doesn't matter how far you go, you can never escape your past. You were never meant to. Instead, turn around and face it, head on. Do not let your past define you, let it be defined by you. You are the C R E A T O R . If you are unhappy in your present, it is most certainly because you have been disempowered by your past. Take back your power - tell your story differently.

It always seems impossible until it's done.
- Nelson Mandela 

A great life is not unaffected by screw-ups and let-downs. A great life is made up of P E R S E V E R A N C E . To persevere means to continue in a course of action, despite failure and disadvantage. Just for a moment, forgive your perceived mistakes and weaknesses. I am going to go so far as to tell you to learn how to love them. Because if you can learn how to love your flaws, nobody can use them against you. If you can learn how to love your past, you can learn how to love yourself.  And there lies infinite power in the beauty of loving the person stitched together by your memories.

Durban Skatepark, Beach Front